BREAKING NEWS:
While we greatly admire your blurry photos, suspicious toe prints, and crayon-enhanced “evidence,” weâre pressing pause on Slobbler hunting to share something even more shocking:
A book.
Yes. A book. With chapters. And words. And at least one goblin who smells like pickles and rancid cheese. We don’t know what’s wrong with him.
Inside, youâll find toe-stealing creatures, suspicious gadgets, and possibly a top-secret book club Society that our legal team has asked us not to mention.
Itâs strange. Itâs hilarious. Itâs probably not FDA approved.
Read at your own risk.
What are people saying about Arlo Fink and the Terrible Toe Goblins?
âItâs funny on multiple levels. The kids will love itâand so will you.â
âAmazon Reviewer
âShort chapters and fast-paced action will hook even the most reluctant reader.â
âMatthias McCloud
âHoly cow this book is a hoot! Great characters, icky toes, and crazy plans.â
âKeith Buchanan“An adorable adventure that kept my children engaged and wanting more. The writer captures everything a great children’s book needs, comedy, adventure, suspense and mystery. I personally enjoyed listening to my daughter read it to me and found myself laughing out loud with her. It’s a delightful read that the whole family will enjoy.” -J.Brown
“This is a brilliant book — entertaining and so well-written. I was laughing along with my daughter when we were reading it together, and the next morning we were still joking about it!” – Lindsey Lew
I NEVER thought Iâd be one of those peopleâyou know, the ones claiming they saw something bizarre. But here I am, writing this with exactly nine and a half toes instead of my usual ten.
It all started when I woke up in the middle of the night to a strange skittering noise. At first, I thought it was my cat, but then I rememberedâI donât own a cat.
I slowly peeked over the edge of my bed⌠and thatâs when I saw it.
A tiny, wrinkly creature with beady little eyes and oversized ears. It had long, gnarled fingers, and most importantlyâit was holding a pair of miniature pliers.
I gasped. It gasped back. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity (but was probably five seconds). Then, in a flash, it bolted under my couch, leaving behind the faint smell of cheese puffs and betrayal.
Thinking it was just a weird dream, I shrugged it off and went back to sleep⌠but when I woke upâmy pinky toe was GONE.
Not the whole thing, just the tip.
I donât know where this Toe Goblin came from. I donât know if itâll return. But I do know one thing: Iâm sleeping in steel-toe boots from now on.
Stay safe. Protect your feet. They could be next.
Melvin Wrigglesworth
Fort Wayne, Indiana
So, there I was, just minding my own business on the bus, heading home from my very important job at the spandex factory (yes, I make stretchy pants, donât ask). It was 2 AM, and I must have dozed off for a second whenâ
TAP. TAP. TAP.
I looked to my left andâBOOM! There he was.
A tiny green creature sitting next to me. He wasnât exactly a man, but not exactly an animal either. Imagine if a goblin, a very tired hamster, and an old gym sock had a baby. That was him.
And hereâs the worst partâhe was EATING A WHOLE HEAD OF LETTUCE.
No dressing. No fork. Just straight-up, biting into it like an apple. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. LEAFS EVERYWHERE.
He turned to me, mouth full of lettuce, and said:
đ âNice weather weâre having, eh, Melvin?â đ
WHAT?!
First of allâHOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME?!
SecondâWHY IS HE EATING LETTUCE LIKE THAT?!
I tried to scream, but the bus driver had AirPods in and was completely zoned out to whatever old people listen to.
The goblin gave me this huge, creepy smile, lettuce bits falling out of his mouth, and thenâWITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACTâhe hopped off the seat, pulled the stop cord with his weird little fingers, and jumped off the bus.
And then⌠he was just gone.
I sat there, covered in lettuce shreds and fear, wondering WHAT HE MEANT BY “SEE YOU ROUND, MEL?”
IS HE COMING BACK? WHY DOES HE THINK WEâRE FRIENDS?
I havenât slept since. I havenât eaten lettuce since. I am never taking the bus again.
Clayton, NC – âWhile I was working from home and on a dull meeting, I dozed off on the couchâjust for a minute. When I woke up, something felt off. One sock was completely gone, the other was halfway off my foot⌠and at the base of my pinky toe? Tiny bite marks. Just as I sat up in a panic, I swear I heard a tiny, frustrated sigh from under the coffee table. I didnât stick around to investigate and went right back up to my office! Lesson learned: no more naps⌠and double-layered socks from now on.â